honestly i felt a bit sad.
i mean, i really didn't know i was like that before.
i should have picked out signs when i knew i wasn't angry and yet my father insists that i am.
i thought i was improving.


maybe, next time just speak up instead of waiting till now to tell me
i bet i would have felt even better if it was just you and me.
but i will try to improve, of course.


or maybe it's my first time that i am in a leadership position ba
just really anxious to get things done
now we've finished it on time, but i'm not as happy as i thought i would be.


"Virgos think too much."
maybe its true. i tried to convince myself that what i'm thinking isn't whats happening.
but when i cried during todays session.
i cried because i didn't recognise myself
the image that others have of me is so different from what i have of myself!
i felt like they were waiting for a chance to complain about me, but i know thats absurd.But how come leona didn't feel that way?
it was true. i was anxious to get things done.
like when i asked someone to buy the white paint at first, i did not volunteer myself
maybe i should have stopped drawing and go down instead
maybe.
but when finally the emulsion paint ran out.
everyone was asking "how how?"
i was kind of pissed ba. maybe because i thought i was right at that time
but when i asked who wanted to go down and buy it? Nobody wanted to.
i mean, =.-? so i volunteered myself and then jolene and yan ling went down to buy it.
sorry, it's my fault.
too, i should have noticed that people were leaving One-By-One.
the next i knew was that only jolene, ngik hiong and i were left.
i'm too unobservant. I should have seen them leaving.
Or perhaps i thought they would come back soon
but i'm grateful towards jolene and ngik hiong for sticking by me
although i supposedly wasted all your and their scrubbing efforts at the sink


i sound awful.
i had been leaving such a bad impression all along and i didn't know.
but anyways thanks for the hug lijing. :)
it really made me feel a lot better.
and sheena for making it sound like less of my fault.